senate district convention

I went to the Senate District Convention March 20th for district 13. I managed to get out of the house around 6:30 in the morning and drove to Texas Southern University. I had the honor of being on the resolutions committee. I may be too liberal of a voter on some issues. The death penalty came up. I forget how it did. It was raining and gray on the way back home; Alabama st to Fannin. I am going to Corpus Christi with my partner as we will make a vacation of it. They tell me there is a nearby island with beautiful beaches. I was having a conversation with a friend who saw me as I was getting ready to cross the street and she was driving a new SUV; it was a desperately need purchase. Her husband was walking their large dog. I gave her three business cards for two professionals and my business/project/hobby -it has something to do with communication.

I have practiced my Rachmaninoff for a few minutes and am getting ready to do the dishes. We tend to eat late as my partner tends to work late. He is at the hospital and I was watching the health care bill become a landmark in history as the House passed the bill; with no small amount of help from Nancy Pelosi. There was a last minute ditch effort by the republicans to derail this legislation. I gazed into the plasma t.v. as it failed. The talking heads talked. As my friend once said to me; we have to pass something. The friend in the SUV said as much today. They couldn't be wrong; my friend in the Bay Area because of his big heart, and his big deaf Dalmation that he saved from abuse; my friend in the SUV (who is a retired nurse) because she is so well informed about the issue. We cannot do nothing. And we haven't as of this evening.

My other friend in the Bay Area doesn't like Nancy Pelosi because "she smiles too much and it is annoying." How can you fault a politician for smiling too much?

Watching CNN reminded me of the beautiful city of Washington D.C. -a magical place, with an air of grandiosity; kind of how I imagine a European city would be if I visited. Elegant old buildings on the surface, a modern expansive subway under ground. Sadly the schools are gravely underfunded from what I have read. I have had the pleasure of visiting the city twice.

Our conversation by the side of the road included medication, the possibility of nurses being allowed to prescribe medication, and what medications are appropriate for what conditions.

As I mentioned, I planted several plants in pots for our backyard patio and they are standing up properly instead of being blown about in the blustery wind. The pool has some debris. Many of the previously dead-looking plants have dainty pretty leaves coming out of all parts of their branches. The strawberries remind me of the strawberries we had growing back home in a very large garden. We have a lovely Fuschia I bought at a nearby store called The Garden Gate along with some other plants. I asked the clerk for advice on how well they would do in pots. Quite well from what was said to me.

Our neighbor was walking with his children. And I left my partner's herb garden completely untouched; just the way he likes it.

frost

The frost in Houston had killed many of our plants. I bought some dirt at Home Depot today. I planted some strawberries and a delphinium among other plants. It was a blustery clear day in Houston.

a work out: read at your own risk

Thanks for reading my blog. I worked out after work. It was 5:20 when I got out of the office, carrying my laptop computer with a shoulder strap. The case is leather.

I worked on shoulders, trying a new free-weight exercise the gym employee/body-builder/personal-trainer showed me. It is new. And it seems to be working. Well see...

The sky was blue in the very late afternoon. The clouds were finished billowing; white fixtures in a fading sky. The pool was a competing blue, but not that blue. I watched the pool, filled with water and empty of people. The palm trees on the patio really did look dead. The disco ball was not turning except for the movements caused by the breeze. I went inside.

After my workout I took my work home. The promise of a paperless office fleeted from my brain. The stop-and-go traffic of a near empty downtown road with a lot of red lights kept me going and stopping and waiting and going. The cycle of the universe repeats infinitely. The artificial lights of a city sparkle in infinitesimal brevity compared to the eons the real stars shed light on the moon and her sisters. Don't forget her nearby brother.

I didn't forget. I'll always remember; for as long as always lasts. I thought about practicing the piano; my hands around Rachmaninoff's big chords. I would enjoy the music after I jump into it. Without me, music is like an empty pool. Do you want only the stars to hear? Do you want the moon to gaze into an empty pool?

Emptiness?

Is that on the menu this evening? Can you put that in your day-planner? Is that what I said? I can't hear myself think; not with this thundering piano. A prelude to a full moon reflects in the empty pool; which symbolizes one's dormant emotions. Waiting for a green light on an empty city street can seem an illogical stopping point. But we'll put the brakes on that. I will dive into the pool of the universe's sweet music and return to the surface so that I can breathe.

The airless emptiness is filled with something else. And the mystery of existence is lost in stop-and-go traffic despite the fact there are no other travelers on this journey. And the city lights make for a terrific title of a book that strives to catch an era. And a saxophone player proves how good his ear has become to no one. It takes one to know one. There is me. And then there is no one.

-James Legare

a beautiful day

I went on a walk around 6pm after taking care of some business in our home office on the second floor of the house. There was a beautiful wild rose, not cultured, that was a jewel-like red/Burgundy growing from a survivor of a rose bush that had almost as many dead branches as living. Even the living ones appeared dried and lifeless except for the dangerous thorns and magnificent new leaves. The bush was very much alive. I paused to look at it in our front yard, just in front of the sidewalk that is bisected in two points by our circular driveway.

It was a beautiful day and our neighbor across the street who was standing near her mini-van with her daughter who was playing with her plastic binoculars even said as much. She proudly related how she talked to someone from the city who said the standing-water problem would be fixed by repairing the gutters which are paved with asphalt but should be concrete instead.

The city recognized that they botched something. My neighbor got the wheels of this bureaucracy turning. Our beautiful tree-lined street would be repaired.

Spring has sprung. And I looked upward at the new green leaves.

jugando con chicos

Valdes rodriguez
I borrowed this title from the library last year and kept it until it was over-due. Now, today, I bought it from 1/2 priced books for a little over 6 dollars with tax. It is an excellent book in Spanish. I have studied it before and read about a page and a half today. I find reading is an good way to try to get a language into your head.

Jugando con chicos - una novela por valdes rodriguez

Emotional Regression

John Lee, author of The Anger Solution, talks about emotional regression. This occurs when one stops thinking with the Neocortex, and, allows the thoughts to regress to the more primitive parts of the brain (he calls them reptilian).

"The neocortex is part of the cerebral cortex..." -wikipedia.

We regress, when the environment presents the right conditions, to survival, or fight-or-flight mode. This was described, in John Lee's book, within the context of arguments. Sometimes you may think you are arguing with the person in front of you while, all along, you are arguing with someone from you past; perhaps someone who made you feel somewhat helpless.

It is possible from someone to make you feel something if they have power over you. This is something I know from my own experience, not from John Lee's book.

Is the reaction disproportional to the circumstance? That is one of the points of anger management.

Time

This morning I am getting ready to drive to work. The office-manager job seems to be going sort-of O.K. My partner is prone to asking me "So why do you have so much difficulty hanging on to jobs?" -I explained that my previous jobs were temporary assignments, and, being temporary, they ended. Professionals, due to their income and wider range of opportunities tend to be sheltered from the ravages of the economy, so they are puzzled at someone else's failures which tend to be the manifestations of bad choices that one's society made regarding fiscal policy; such as Reaganomics, that effect certain classes more than others. I have so many friends who are trapped in ivory towers. (Really, locked inside, there's no getting out.)

I have new artwork on my home-office wall. I practice Rachmaninoff last night on the piano. I finally received The Anger Trap -by Dr. Les Carter -an anger-management book. My psychiatrist recommended I read an anger-management book. OK. I bought two; one on Amazon, and one in a brick-and-mortar book store (as my psychiatrist friend likes to call them.)

I purchase most things online. I am not knocking Amazon.

If you read and live your life a-la The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, there may be something wrong with you philosophy of life. Get out of the power zone and smell the roses.

Drugs

I am doing research to increase my knowledge, the non-scientist that I am, of drugs. I hope to glean an understanding of how they work, how dangerous they are, and what is it that drug companies really want. It is a society based on the foundation of consumerism; whether you have a doctor's prescription, or are buying from the man in the proverbial trench coat, which looks a lot like a lab coat, come to think of it. The lab rat that I was, once; and experimented on.

Read, and enhance your mind; whats left of it. And make up your mind. Have the courage to stand up for someone else's convictions. And do it with conviction; convincing, clatter-trap.

(Trap that RAT)

In college someone once told me that in order for a society that is like ours to continue functioning (read dysfunction-ing), a certain false frame of mind must be maintained at all times; all the time, any time. It is out of balance all the time; and you know what happens in nature, in natural systems when it is out of balance?

Well, you can't drain a lake forever without pouring water into it; or whatever. What is it you've been drinking anyway and where has it been.

Who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe?

HGLBT PAC

Before I went to this meeting today, I shopped at a nearby Borders. I found this book: The Anger Solution. I think it is helpful. Basically, so far, the author is suggesting that one should have a constructive outlet for one's anger. I kind-of knew that already. My psychiatrist suggested I read an anger-management book. One should express one's anger in healthy ways.

I went to the HGLBT Pac meeting 3-3-2010 and got to vote for which judges the Caucus would endorse for the 270th civil district court seat, and the 311th family district court seat.

Roberts Rules of Order were followed, as they always are at these meetings, impeccably. Kris Banks ran the meeting, the current president of HGLBT PAC.

Yesterday, I went to a small caucus convention for the democratic party after voting in the primaries and I get to go to the precinct convention for my precinct.

Jolanda Jones, Houston City Council at large position 5, told of how she is trying to help a trans-gender person on her staff who is being harassed for using the ladies room. There may be an executive order from Annise Parker as a policy decision. Joland Jones is a tall, black, stylish, beautiful woman who speaks her mind -and has been endorsed by the caucus again and again. And she keeps winning.

meds

I am taking bupropion and lorazapam.

On a possibly unrelated note, the birds were singing and chirping and had beautiful feathers his morning. I noticed them as I was pulling out of the driveway on my way to driving to work. it is, and was an easy commute.

We had purchased some succulents and other plants to replace some of the ones that died during the season of multiple frosts. I know we are tired of frosts and so is at least one of my neighbors.

What accounts for this strange weather? New Hampshire had so much bad weather that they sent Texas some? How thoughtful. Of course, I am poking fun at New Hampshire. They are probably so buried in snow that their internet is down so I don't have to worry about retaliation.

We are considering how to have the master bathroom remodeled. We spoke with an environmentally friendly contractor who builds and remodels using Green materials. There is even a Green bank, but I prefer the credit union; less fees, more interest. And that sparks my interest.

I hope your are all doing well.

Trans Sister

My sister, who was formally physically a man, is now living in San Francisco. We pretty much just communicate by e-mail these days. But I am looking forward to visiting her again sometime this year. Hopefully in the spring. I hit myself with a wet noodle every time I refer to her as him.

I caucuses with the Democratic Party yesterday, and, successfully advances a pro-LGBT resolution that I got off of the Equality web site. I got to read the resolution in front of a small group and I am happy with how I did.

I will be a delegate to the precinct level, and, will hopefully be on the resolutions committee. I am looking forward to learning more about that.

Also, my wonderful trans sister is not the only one seeing a psychiatrist for depression. I thought I would let you know. Also, I am feeling much, much better. Although, I really refuse to take that zyprexa stuff. It scares me.

Also, I ordered a book from Amazon on Anger Management. I probably should have read it decades ago.

People with mental illness really are stigmatized.

I would hope that my trans sister remains in San Francisco permanently. Do NOT move to Texas.

Thank you, everyone, for all your wonderful e-mails. I hope you will read this blog as an open letter so that I may present my thoughts better, and, avoid the dreaded "Reply All" Button; kind-of like the "nuclear option." But, that is getting too political. I mean it as hyperbole. I can't give that up. Then I would really be depressed.

I would hope that the out-of-work people would realize that the job market in the US has been like one of those insubstantial sandy islands during a hurricane. The sand disappears, the island gets smaller, the houses fall into the water, and they are stuck with less.

Jim